Author: The Muslim Psychologist

The Psychological Difficulties Mothers Experience During Ramadan and How to Cope

Ramadan is a time for spiritual reflection, fasting, and closeness to Allah. For many mothers, it can also be a time of unique psychological challenges. Balancing fasting, prayer, and family responsibilities can sometimes feel overwhelming. In this article, I will explore some of the psychological difficulties that mothers often experience during Ramadan, followed by coping strategies to help manage these challenges.

Psychological Difficulties Mothers Face During Ramadan

  1. Fatigue and Physical Exhaustion Fasting during Ramadan can take a physical toll, especially for mothers who are also managing household chores, taking care of children, and fulfilling other familial duties. The lack of energy from not eating or drinking throughout the day can lead to exhaustion, both mentally and physically. For mothers of young children, interrupted sleep can further intensify this feeling of fatigue.
  2. Emotional Stress The added pressure of Ramadan can trigger heightened emotional stress. Mothers often feel the weight of balancing spiritual obligations with family responsibilities. The expectations around maintaining an ideal home and making Ramadan special for their families can lead to feelings of anxiety or even guilt if things do not go as planned.
  3. Feelings of Overwhelm With the early pre-dawn meals (suhoor) and the evening meals (iftar), combined with additional prayer times and the general busy nature of Ramadan, many mothers experience a sense of overwhelm. The mental load of planning meals, organizing schedules, and ensuring everyone is taken care of can become mentally draining.
  4. Isolation and Loneliness In some cases, mothers may feel isolated, especially if they are primarily focused on their household and less engaged in social or community activities. The fasting hours, when energy is low, can also add to feelings of isolation. The challenges of Ramadan might make some feel disconnected from others, especially if they are unable to participate fully in community events or worship.
  5. Guilt and Self-Criticism Mothers often hold themselves to very high standards, and during Ramadan, this can amplify. There may be guilt about not being able to maintain the same level of energy or productivity as before, or about not being able to do everything perfectly. This can lead to self-criticism, which can affect mental well-being.

Coping Strategies for Mothers During Ramadan

  1. Prioritize Self-Care Taking care of yourself is not only essential for your well-being but also part of your responsibility to Allah. By getting enough rest, eating nourishing meals, and taking time for yourself, you are honoring the body that Allah has entrusted to you. Self-care allows you to fulfill your duties with more energy and intention. The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said, “Your body has a right over you” (Sahih al-Bukhari). When you care for yourself, you are respecting the trust Allah has given you, and this will lead to spiritual and physical well-being. Allah rewards those who act with balance in all aspects of their life. Tip: When you rest or refresh yourself, make this time an opportunity to thank Allah for your health and strength.
  2. Set Realistic Expectations Ramadan is a time for spiritual growth, and perfection is not expected. By setting realistic goals for yourself and your family, you can reduce unnecessary stress and avoid burnout. Instead of aiming for perfection, focus on fulfilling the obligations of Ramadan with sincerity and intention. Allah promises to reward those who strive with sincerity, even if they cannot achieve perfection. The Prophet (PBUH) said, “If a servant of Allah is ill or traveling, he is rewarded for the good he used to do when he was healthy or residing” (Sahih al-Bukhari). Your efforts, no matter how small or imperfect, are rewarded when made with a sincere heart. Tip: Set simple but meaningful goals for the day and recognize the importance of your intention in everything you do.
  3. Practice Mindfulness and Gratitude Being mindful and practicing gratitude helps reduce anxiety and increases peace of mind. It also strengthens your connection with Allah by allowing you to focus on the blessings you have rather than what is lacking. Gratitude is a key part of worship in Islam. Allah says in the Qur’an: “If you are grateful, I will surely increase your favor upon you” (Qur’an, 14:7). By practicing gratitude, you invite Allah’s mercy and blessings into your life. Mindfulness helps you reflect on the beauty of Ramadan, nurturing your heart and soul with divine light. Tip: Each day, take a moment to be thankful for what Allah has provided and make du’a (supplication) for continued blessings.
  4. Create a Support System Connecting with others, whether it’s through family or community, can provide both emotional and spiritual support. Having a strong support system helps you share responsibilities and reduces the burden of feeling alone. The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) emphasized the importance of community: “The believer to the believer is like a building whose different parts support one another” (Sahih al-Bukhari). Helping one another, whether through physical support or emotional encouragement, is an act of charity (sadaqah) in Islam, and Allah rewards those who help each other. Tip: Share your challenges and joys with others, and allow the bonds of community to strengthen your Ramadan experience.
  5. Incorporate Spiritual Practices to Nourish the Soul Engaging in prayer, reading the Qur’an, and engaging in dhikr can offer immense spiritual and emotional relief. These practices are not only acts of worship but also ways to calm the heart, increase patience, and strengthen your connection with Allah. The rewards of prayer and dhikr are immense. The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said: “The one who fasts and prays at night with faith and seeking reward will have all his previous sins forgiven” (Sahih al-Bukhari). Every moment spent in remembrance of Allah elevates your spiritual status and brings you closer to His mercy and forgiveness. Tip: Make small efforts to incorporate regular acts of worship throughout the day, even if it’s just a few moments of dhikr or prayer. Allah sees every effort and will reward you abundantly.

Conclusion

Mothers, your challenges in Ramadan are not in vain. Every step you take, every act of worship, and every moment of patience you show is rewarded by Allah. Whether it’s through caring for yourself, managing your home, or simply making time for reflection, the rewards are immense, both in this world and the hereafter.

Remember that Allah does not burden a soul beyond what it can bear (Qur’an, 2:286).

The sacrifices you make are part of a greater purpose, and Allah will reward you for every moment of effort and perseverance. Continue your journey with faith, knowing that each challenge you face brings you closer to His mercy, and each small step you take is part of the great reward He has prepared for you.

May your Ramadan be filled with peace, strength, and immense blessings. You are doing more than enough, and your efforts will bear fruit, Insha’Allah.

Am I the Only One Struggling with Mental Health Issues?

Am I the Only One Struggling with Mental Health Issues?

Mental health struggles can often make us feel isolated, as though we’re the only ones grappling with emotions like anxiety, sadness, or overwhelming stress. This feeling of isolation can be particularly challenging, and it’s common for people to wonder, “Am I the only one experiencing this?”

In reality, mental health challenges are far more common than many realize. Whether you’re struggling with anxiety, depression, trauma, or stress, know that you are not alone. Millions of people around the world face similar challenges, and mental health issues are not a reflection of weakness or failure.

1. The Cognitive Bias: “Am I the Only One?”

Feeling like you are the only one struggling with mental health issues is a cognitive bias known as “emotional reasoning” or “catastrophizing”. This bias involves the tendency to assume that because you feel a certain way, it must be true. In this case, because you feel isolated or overwhelmed, you might believe that everyone else is coping better or that you are the only one experiencing these emotions.

Emotional Reasoning

This cognitive distortion happens when individuals believe that their emotional experience reflects objective reality. For instance, if someone is struggling with depression, they might feel like no one else is going through the same thing, even though others may be silently dealing with similar issues.

Catastrophizing

Another form of cognitive bias involved in this thought process is catastrophizing, where individuals blow their challenges out of proportion. This might lead someone to think that their mental health struggles are an overwhelming burden, unique to them, and insurmountable. In reality, these struggles are shared by many people, even though they may not always be visible.

By recognizing these biases, we can start to challenge the distorted belief that we are alone in our experiences. It’s important to remind ourselves that mental health issues are common, and many people—though they may not always show it—are facing similar battles.

2. Mental Health is Part of Being Human

Human beings experience a wide range of emotions, from joy and excitement to sadness and fear. Mental health issues like anxiety and depression are just another aspect of the human experience. The truth is, we all face challenges that affect our emotional well-being at some point in our lives, and that is okay.

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), one in four people will experience mental health problems at some point in their lives. So, no—you are not alone in this.

3. Struggles Experienced by Prophets and Companions

In Islam, we are reminded that even the Prophets—the most esteemed and chosen individuals in our faith—experienced moments of emotional distress. These struggles are important because they show us that even the greatest of humans faced challenges and persevered with faith.

  • Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ): Despite being the final messenger, Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) faced tremendous challenges, including the loss of his beloved wife Khadijah and his uncle Abu Talib, both of whom were pillars of support. These losses deeply affected him, and in these moments of grief, he sought solace and guidance from Allah. His experiences remind us that grief, loss, and emotional pain are natural parts of life, even for the best of people.
  • Prophet Ya’qub (AS): Prophet Ya’qub (AS) experienced immense grief after the loss of his son Yusuf (AS). He cried so much that his vision was affected, and people feared he might lose his sight. This story is a powerful reminder that grief is natural and that even the strongest individuals can experience emotional suffering.
  • Prophet Yusuf (AS): Prophet Yusuf (AS) was betrayed by his brothers, thrown into a well, and later imprisoned. His trials were deep, but through it all, he never lost hope in Allah. Yusuf (AS) teaches us that even in times of despair, faith and patience can guide us through.
  • Companion Umar ibn Al-Khattab (RA): One of the most prominent companions of the Prophet (ﷺ), Umar ibn Al-Khattab (RA), also faced personal emotional struggles. He was once filled with regret and sorrow over past mistakes, yet he continually sought redemption and improvement. His struggles show us that no one is immune to emotional challenges, but with repentance and seeking Allah’s forgiveness, we can overcome them.

These examples from the lives of the Prophets and Companions remind us that emotional distress is not a sign of weakness, but rather a natural human experience. Their resilience and trust in Allah during difficult times offer guidance for anyone dealing with mental health challenges.

4. The Stigma: Why We Feel Like We’re Alone

Despite growing awareness of mental health, stigma still surrounds it, especially in certain cultural and religious communities. People may feel that having mental health issues means they are “weak” or “not strong enough in their faith.” But this could not be further from the truth. Struggling with mental health is not a sign of weakness or a reflection of your faith or character.

In Islam, seeking help is encouraged, and there is no shame in reaching out for support. Just as we would seek medical help for physical ailments, seeking psychological support for emotional distress is equally important.

5. Seeking Help is a Strength, Not a Weakness

The first step to healing is realizing that it’s okay to ask for help. Many people feel embarrassed or ashamed to seek support, but reaching out is one of the most courageous and important things you can do for your well-being.

Therapy, whether through traditional counseling or faith-based approaches, can provide you with the support you need. Islam encourages seeking knowledge and solutions, and just as we seek medical help for physical ailments, mental health support is equally important.

6. You Are Not Alone in This Journey

It’s important to remember that there is always support available. Talk to someone you trust—a friend, family member, or professional. Support groups and community resources are also excellent ways to connect with others facing similar challenges.

In Islam, community (ummah) plays a critical role in providing emotional and spiritual support. If you are feeling alone in your struggles, reach out to a trusted friend, mentor, or spiritual advisor. You are part of a much larger support system than you may realize.

7. Conclusion: Healing is Possible

If you’re struggling with mental health issues, remember that you are not alone. Many people experience emotional pain, and healing is possible. Seek support, practice self-compassion, and trust that you will get through this. The first step is to recognize that asking for help is a strength, not a weakness.

This verse serves as a reminder that challenges, no matter how difficult, will eventually pass. Healing is a journey, and you don’t have to walk it alone

Understanding Mental Health in Islam: A Compassionate Approach


Mental Health Struggles Do Not Make You a Bad Muslim

Mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, and trauma are often misunderstood in many communities, including Muslim ones. A harmful misconception persists—that struggling with mental health means a person has weak faith or is a “bad Muslim.” This stigma not only prevents individuals from seeking professional help but can also deepen their suffering, leading to isolation and self-blame.

However, Islam provides a compassionate and holistic perspective on human suffering, recognizing both physical and emotional challenges. By combining Quranic guidance, hadith, and psychological research, we can dismantle this stigma and promote a faith-based approach to mental well-being.

Mental Health Struggles Are Part of the Human Experience

Experiencing emotional distress does not mean a person lacks faith. Even the Prophets (peace be upon them)—the best of humanity—faced deep sadness, grief, and anxiety.

The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) and the Year of Sorrow

During the Year of Sorrow (ʿĀm al-Ḥuzn), the Prophet (ﷺ) lost both his beloved wife Khadijah (RA) and his supportive uncle Abu Talib. This period was so distressing that Allah sent Surah Ad-Duha (93:1-11) to console him:

This verse reassures that sadness does not mean abandonment by Allah, and struggles do not indicate weak faith.

Prophet Ya’qub (AS) and Grief

Prophet Ya’qub (AS) experienced profound grief over the loss of his son, Prophet Yusuf (AS). The Quran acknowledges his sorrow and tears:

Yet, despite his sadness, Ya’qub (AS) remained a beloved Prophet of Allah. His grief did not diminish his faith—instead, he turned to Allah for comfort.

The Prophet’s (ﷺ) Compassion for Mental Distress

When a man struggling with suicidal thoughts came to the Prophet (ﷺ), he did not judge him but instead offered words of encouragement:

This hadith shows the Prophet (ﷺ) acknowledged emotional suffering and offered support rather than condemnation.

Mental Health Issues Are Not Just “Weak Iman”—They Are Real Conditions

Mental health struggles can stem from biological, psychological, and social factors—just like physical illnesses. The brain is part of the body, and just as diabetes or heart disease require medical care, mental health conditions deserve professional treatment.

Scientific Evidence from Muslim Mental Health Research

  • A 2014 study in the Journal of Muslim Mental Health found that stigma prevents many Muslims from seeking therapy, as they believe mental health struggles reflect weak faith.
  • A 2020 study published in Frontiers in Psychology highlighted that Islamically integrated psychotherapy (I-CBT) significantly improves mental health outcomes for Muslims.
  • Research from The Lancet Psychiatry (2019) confirms that depression and anxiety are often linked to chemical imbalances, trauma, and genetics, rather than simply spiritual weakness.

Thus, mental illness is not just a test of faith—it is a real medical condition that requires appropriate care, just like any other illness.

Islam Encourages Seeking Help—Therapy and Dua Are Not Mutually Exclusive

Hadith on Seeking Medical Treatment

The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) emphasized that seeking treatment is not a sign of weak faith but an obligation:

This hadith applies to mental health conditions as well—therapy, medication, and counseling are all means of healing provided by Allah.

Dua and Therapy Go Hand in Hand

Some believe that dua alone should be enough to heal mental distress. While dua is powerful, Islam teaches us to combine spiritual and practical means:

Just as we take medicine when we are physically sick, we should seek therapy when facing mental struggles—while continuing to pray for healing.

Breaking the Stigma: How Can We Help?

1. Educate Ourselves and Others

  • Learn about mental health from both Islamic and psychological perspectives.
  • Read works by Muslim psychologists

2. Encourage Seeking Professional Help

  • Therapy and Islamic faith are not contradictory—they complement each other.
  • Look for Muslim therapists or culturally competent psychologists who integrate Islamic values into therapy.

3. Promote Open Conversations

  • Create safe spaces for discussing mental health without fear of judgment.
  • Imam Al-Ghazali (RA) emphasized self-reflection and emotional well-being as key aspects of spiritual growth.

4. Show Compassion Instead of Judgment

  • The Prophet (ﷺ) was always gentle with those struggling emotionally—so should we.
  • Remind others that mental illness is not a sign of weak faith but part of human experience.

Final Thoughts: You Are Not Alone

Struggling with mental health does not mean you are a bad Muslim. Islam acknowledges human emotions and provides guidance on navigating hardships with faith, patience, and practical solutions.

If you or someone you know is struggling, reach out for help—whether through therapy, counseling, or trusted friends and family. Seeking support is not a weakness—it is a sign of strength and trust in Allah’s mercy.

May Allah grant healing, peace, and strength to all those facing emotional struggles. You are not alone. ❤️


References & Further Reading:

  1. Awaad, R., & Ali, S. (2015). Faith-Based Mental Health Interventions: A Review in Muslim Populations. Journal of Muslim Mental Health.
  2. Keshavarzi, H., & Haque, A. (2013). Islamically Integrated Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (I-CBT).
  3. The Lancet Psychiatry (2019). The Neurobiological Basis of Depression and Anxiety Disorders.
  4. Frontiers in Psychology (2020). The Effectiveness of Islamic-Based Therapy for Anxiety and Depression.

Fasting: A Psychological Perspective and Its Impact on Eating Disorders

Fasting during the holy month of Ramadan is one of the Five Pillars of Islam, a sacred act of worship that encourages self-discipline, spirituality, and empathy. While the physical benefits of fasting are often discussed, the psychological aspects are just as profound, offering unique insights into mental health, particularly for those dealing with eating disorders.

The Psychological Meaning of Islamic Fasting

At its core, Islamic fasting (Sawm) is a practice that goes beyond abstaining from food and drink. It’s an opportunity to strengthen one’s self-control, purify the soul, and draw closer to God (Allah). Fasting is meant to enhance mindfulness, promote reflection, and build a deep sense of gratitude for the sustenance we often take for granted.

From a psychological standpoint, fasting offers several key benefits:

  1. Increased Self-Awareness: Fasting encourages individuals to become more attuned to their physical and emotional states. By refraining from eating and drinking, people are often reminded of their dependency on Allah, leading to introspection and emotional clarity.
  2. Improved Self-Discipline: The daily routine of fasting builds mental strength and self-discipline. The act of controlling one’s basic needs cultivates resilience and a greater ability to overcome temptations and impulses.
  3. Heightened Spirituality: Fasting serves as a reminder of the transient nature of worldly desires, promoting a deeper connection to faith and spirituality. This can have a profound effect on mental peace and emotional stability.
  4. Community and Compassion: Fasting fosters a sense of community through shared rituals and increased empathy for those less fortunate. This collective experience can combat feelings of isolation and foster a greater sense of belonging.

Fasting and Eating Disorders: A Complex Relationship

While fasting can have psychological benefits, for individuals struggling with eating disorders such as anorexia nervosa, bulimia, or binge eating disorder, it can present unique challenges. For those with disordered eating patterns, fasting may exacerbate or trigger unhealthy behaviors, reinforcing negative thought patterns surrounding food, control, and body image.

Research on Fasting and Psychological Health

Several studies and academic books explore the psychological effects of fasting, offering a balanced view on its potential benefits and risks:

  1. Psychological Benefits of Fasting: A study published in the Journal of Psychology and Behavioral Science (2016) found that Islamic fasting leads to increased mindfulness, emotional regulation, and lower stress levels among participants (Al-Buhairi & Alghamdi, 2016). The study highlighted that many Muslim participants reported enhanced emotional well-being and spiritual growth during Ramadan.
  2. Fasting and Eating Disorders: A study by Miller et al. (2013) in the International Journal of Eating Disorders discussed the impact of restrictive eating patterns in individuals with eating disorders during fasting. They found that fasting might reinforce maladaptive behaviors such as excessive restriction and purging, especially for individuals with bulimia nervosa. For these individuals, fasting can be seen as a form of emotional control, which exacerbates negative thought patterns about food and body image.
  3. Fasting and Body Image: A study by Van Strien (2018) published in Appetite suggested that fasting can increase the risk of body dissatisfaction and contribute to disordered eating in individuals prone to eating disorders. This is particularly relevant for those who already experience distorted views of their bodies and may use fasting as a means to control weight.
  4. Spirituality and Psychological Health: In his book The Psychology of Religion and Coping: Theory, Research, Practice (1997), Kenneth I. Pargament discusses how spiritual practices such as fasting can serve as a coping mechanism for individuals dealing with stress and mental health issues. He argues that religious practices, when performed in a healthy, balanced way, can contribute positively to mental well-being by offering a sense of meaning, purpose, and social support.
  5. Ramadan and Emotional Well-Being: The book Psychology of Religion and the Spirituality of Mental Health (2012) by David M. Wulff examines the psychological impact of fasting during Ramadan. Wulff notes that the practice can improve emotional regulation, particularly in individuals who engage in regular, reflective spiritual practices. However, for those with eating disorders, fasting can complicate emotional well-being by intensifying the focus on food, weight, and self-control.
  6. Mindfulness and Fasting: In The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment (1997), Eckhart Tolle speaks about the benefits of mindfulness, which can be enhanced through fasting. Fasting, according to Tolle, provides an opportunity to detach from the ego and focus on the present moment, fostering greater emotional awareness. This can be particularly helpful in managing psychological health, but it must be approached mindfully, especially for individuals with eating disorders who may misuse fasting as a form of control.

How Fasting Can Impact Individuals with Eating Disorders:

  1. Heightened Obsessive Thoughts About Food: For someone with an eating disorder, fasting may intensify preoccupation with food, leading to unhealthy thoughts and behaviors. The restriction of food may trigger a cycle of guilt, shame, and excessive control over eating, reinforcing harmful patterns of thought.
  2. Increased Isolation and Shame: The communal aspects of fasting, which are meant to promote unity and empathy, can become a source of anxiety for individuals with eating disorders. They may feel isolated or ashamed of their eating habits or fear judgment during communal meals (iftar). This can deepen feelings of inadequacy and contribute to mental distress.
  3. Risk of Physical and Psychological Imbalance: Fasting can sometimes lead to an unhealthy relationship with food, where eating becomes either overly restricted or excessive. For individuals with an eating disorder, these patterns may worsen, leading to further physical and emotional distress.
  4. Opportunity for Healing with the Right Support: While fasting can be triggering for some, it also offers a chance for healing when done with the right psychological and emotional support. For those recovering from eating disorders, fasting can become a tool for mindfulness, self-reflection, and reconnecting with one’s spirituality in a balanced and healthy way.

How to Navigate Fasting with an Eating Disorder

If you or someone you know struggles with an eating disorder, it is important to approach fasting with care and mindfulness. Here are a few suggestions to ensure that fasting during Ramadan remains a positive experience:

  • Consult a Professional: Speak with a therapist or psychologist who specializes in eating disorders to discuss the potential psychological impact of fasting and how to navigate it safely.
  • Focus on Spiritual and Emotional Growth: Shift the focus from food to spirituality and emotional well-being. Fasting can be an opportunity for personal growth, introspection, and healing if approached with the right mindset.
  • Practice Mindful Eating: When breaking your fast, focus on mindful eating rather than restriction or indulgence. Pay attention to how food makes you feel and enjoy the nourishment it provides.
  • Seek Support: Ramadan is a time of community and support. Seek encouragement from family, friends, or fellow community members to maintain a healthy balance in your fasting practices.

Conclusion

Islamic fasting is a powerful act of worship that holds significant psychological benefits, particularly in fostering self-discipline, emotional resilience, and spirituality. However, for individuals with eating disorders, it requires careful consideration and support. By understanding the psychological aspects of fasting and how it interacts with eating disorders, individuals can approach this sacred practice in a way that supports their overall mental and physical well-being.

If you or someone you know is struggling with eating disorders or the psychological impacts of fasting, don’t hesitate to reach out for support. Together, we can work towards healing, self-acceptance, and balance.


My first therapy session – what to expect?

What to Expect in Your First Therapy Session

Feeling a bit nervous before your first therapy session? That’s completely normal! You’re about to open up to someone new about your thoughts and emotions, and that can feel a little intimidating. But don’t worry—I’m here to create a safe, supportive space for you.

At the start of our session, I’ll introduce you to the therapeutic process and ensure you feel comfortable. Therapy is a confidential space where you can talk openly about anything on your mind, knowing that our conversations are private and judgment-free.

Because privacy plays a key role in feeling safe, I recommend finding a quiet, private place where you won’t be interrupted. This will allow you to speak freely and get the most out of your session.

What Happens in the First Session?

During our first meeting, I’ll ask questions to better understand your background, concerns, and goals for therapy. You may also be asked to complete forms about your emotional and physical well-being. Keep in mind that therapy is a process—it may take a few sessions for me to fully grasp your situation and determine the best way forward.

This session is also an opportunity for you to assess whether I’m the right therapist for you. I encourage you to ask any questions you may have, including:
✅ What type of therapy will we use?
✅ What are the goals of treatment?
✅ How will we track progress?

If you feel comfortable moving forward, we’ll finalize our work together by signing a Therapist-Client Service Agreement—a simple contract that outlines your rights and responsibilities as a client, as well as my role and obligations as your therapist.

Starting therapy is a big step, and I want you to feel supported every step of the way. If you have any concerns or questions, just let me know—I’m here to help!

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